The Price of Resentment

“Holding on to resentment is like drinking poison
and expecting the other person to die.”

The holiday season is quickly descending upon us. For some of us, it a wonderful time of love, laughter and Joy – gathering together with family and friends to celebrate, give thanks and appreciate those that mean the most to us. But for others it’s not so happy, not the “perfect ideal picture” that the movies and advertisements show us.

The truth is, for most of us the Holidays can be somewhat stressful and evoke a mixed bag of feelings. A lot of us gather with and travel back to our families of origin and this can bring up unresolved negative emotions from past hurts. Also, if we are grieving a loss through death, divorce, breakup or separation, the Holidays can really magnify the feelings connected to that. 

resentmentWhatever the reasons may be, the Holiday Season can be a emotional roller coaster for some of us. There’s a whole possible range of emotions that you might be feeling but I want to talk about the one I feel is most detrimental to you, resentment.

Resentment is that emotion we feel when we believe that someone has wronged us, hurt us, treated us unfairly – did something unforgivable. Quite often we are totally justified in our feelings. They did what they did, said what they said and it hurt us – it was unfair, we didn’t deserve it and they were wrong! But here’s the thing, even if you are totally justified in how you feel, that resentment is not hurting them it’s hurting you!

Resentment keeps us stuck in the past, powerless and unable to move forward towards what we want. Louise Hay, in her book You Can Heal Your Life says, “long held, deep resentment can literally eat away at the body and cause the dis-ease we call cancer.” Even our western medical system now says that 90% of diseases have an “emotional” component connected to them.

Unfortunately, I’m not a stranger to resentment, I know it well. I went through a very difficult divorce 15 years ago and I had a bucket load of resentment. When I was finally able to release it, freed me to move on and find the man of my dreams and create the deliciously, satisfy and wonderful life that I’m now living.

If resentment is eating away at you, it’s possible to let it go and free yourself. Here’s my favorite process for releasing resentment. I call it the “Poison Pen Letter Process”

The Poison Pen Process

  1. First you are going to write a letter to whoever hurt you and who you feel resentment towards.
  2. Write it with pen & paper, not on your computer. There is a special magic that happens when you put pen to paper!
  3. Don’t hold back! You are not going to send this, so let it rip! The purpose is to vent and rage and acknowledge and express how you really feel. You need to get all the negative emotion up and out. You can’t release what you don’t fully feel.
  4. Once you write the letter. You are going to read it out loud while you do EFT Tapping. If you don’t know how to tap, watch my video and download my guide.
  5. Every time you reach a spot in the letter where you feel strong emotion you are going to stop and just tap focusing on that emotion (for example: “it hurts so much”) until you feel that emotion release. Then move on and continue reading your letter until you hit another emotional “zing”.
  6. Keep reading the letter over and over while you tap until you can read through it without feeling strong emotions.
  7. Once you clear all your negative emotions from your letter. Rip it up into little pieces and either dump it into the trash or put it into a fire proof container and go outside and burn it releasing it to the universe.

Watch my video above to see how it’s done.

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